Financial planning after the loss of a spouse or partner
When someone you love dies, the paperwork does not wait, but most of the decisions can. Our job in the first months is to tell you which is which, handle what has a deadline, and keep everything else off your desk until you are ready for it.
We are a small, fee-only, fiduciary firm in Seattle. Helping people rebuild a financial life after a loss is the center of our practice, not a side service. We have done this many times, and we know the order things need to happen in.
If you are reading this in the first days after a death: you do not need to do anything financial today. When you are ready, the list below is where to start.
The first weeks: what actually needs doing
- Get certified copies of the death certificate. Ten to fifteen is normal. Banks, insurers, Social Security, the county and the pension office will each want one. The funeral home usually orders them for you.
- Tell Social Security. The funeral home often reports the death, but you still need to call about survivor benefits and the one-time death payment.
- Keep paying the household bills from the accounts you already use. Do not close or retitle joint accounts yet.
- Gather the documents as you find them: the will or trust, the most recent tax return, account statements, insurance policies, employer benefits paperwork and the mortgage. A box or a folder is enough. We will organize it with you.
- If your spouse or partner was working, call their employer. Final pay, life insurance, the 401(k), health coverage and unused leave all run through human resources.
- File life insurance claims when you have the death certificates. Proceeds are generally free of income tax.
It is normal to find it hard to focus on paperwork right now. That is one of the reasons we handle it.
What can wait
- Selling the house, or moving.
- Paying off the mortgage or other debts with insurance money.
- Changing investments or moving accounts to a new firm, including ours.
- Large gifts to children or to charity.
- Big purchases.
Most of these are better decisions at six or twelve months than at six weeks. Our rule of thumb is simple: no large, hard-to-undo financial decisions in the first year unless a real deadline forces one. We keep the list of deadlines so that nothing is missed while the rest waits.
What we help with
- Deadlines and filings. The final income tax return, the Washington and federal estate tax returns where they apply, probate or Washington's small-estate affidavit, and retitling accounts and property. We track every date.
- Retirement accounts. The choices for an inherited IRA or 401(k) are different for a spouse than for anyone else, and the wrong election is hard to undo.
- Social Security. When to claim survivor benefits, and whether to switch to your own benefit later.
- Pensions and employer benefits. Survivor pension elections, group life insurance, deferred compensation and stock plans.
- Cash flow. A clear picture of what comes in and what goes out now that one income, or one pension, has changed.
- The house and insurance. Health coverage, whether to keep or sell the home, and what to do about the mortgage.
- Investments. Consolidating accounts, a plan for insurance proceeds, and getting the cost basis step-up right, which works differently in Washington because it is a community property state.
- Your own estate plan. Updating your will, beneficiaries and powers of attorney, with your attorney.
- The longer view. What your retirement, your home and your children's needs look like from here, once the first year is behind you.
How we work
The first conversation is a phone or video call at no cost and with no obligation. We listen, answer your questions, and tell you plainly whether we are the right fit. If we are not, we will say so and point you somewhere better.
If we work together, the first months are about triage: deadlines, cash flow and documents. Longer-term planning comes after that, when you are ready for it. We coordinate directly with your attorney and tax preparer so you are not carrying messages between three offices.
You can meet with us in person in Seattle or by video from anywhere in Washington.
Fee-only, and why that matters right now
We are paid only by our clients. We do not sell insurance or annuities and we do not take commissions. That matters after a loss, because life insurance proceeds and retirement rollovers attract a great deal of sales attention. As an SEC-registered investment adviser we have a fiduciary duty to put your interests first. Our services and fees are described in our Form ADV Part 2A, which is available on request or on the SEC's website.
Who you will work with
Tony Capeloto, Principal. Tony's approach to planning was shaped by his own family's transitions, including the early loss of a parent, and by an earlier career in equity research and software at a quantitative investment fund. He leads the firm and its investment work.
Betty Hedrick, CFP®, CDFA®. Betty has managed investments and planned for families for more than 30 years. She has held the CFP® certification since 1989 and the CDFA® since 2003, and her earlier work in social and health services shaped how she sees planning: health, money and personal values are managed together, not separately.
Jenn Dunlap, Client Services Manager. Jenn is usually the first voice you will hear, and the person who makes sure nothing falls through the cracks.
Questions people ask after a loss
What do I need to do first, financially, after my spouse dies?
Very little in the first two weeks. Order certified death certificates (ten to fifteen), keep paying bills from the accounts you already use, and start a folder for documents as you find them. Within the first month, notify Social Security and your spouse's employer. Everything else can wait until you are ready.
My spouse handled all of our money. Where do I start?
Start with two things: the mail and last year's tax return. The mail tells you which accounts, bills and insurers exist. The tax return lists every account that paid interest, dividends or a pension. Together they give a nearly complete map, and we build the rest from there. You do not need to understand any of it before you call.
Do I have to go through probate in Washington?
Not always. Accounts with a named beneficiary, assets held in a living trust, and property owned jointly with right of survivorship pass outside probate. If what is left in your spouse's name alone is worth $100,000 or less, Washington's small-estate affidavit lets you collect personal property without a court case, starting 40 days after the death. Larger estates, and real estate titled only in your spouse's name, usually go through probate, which in Washington is simpler than most people expect. Your attorney handles it; we make sure the financial pieces are ready when they need them.
Does Washington have an estate tax, and will it apply to us?
Yes, and it reaches far more families than the federal tax does. Washington taxes estates above $3,000,000 for deaths on or after July 1, 2026 ($3,076,000 for deaths in the first half of 2026). Rates run from 10 percent to 20 percent on the amount above the exclusion. A return is required whenever the gross estate is over the threshold, even if nothing is owed, and the return and any payment are due nine months after the death. What passes to a spouse is generally not taxed at the first death, but Washington does not let the survivor carry over the deceased spouse's unused exclusion, so the first death is the moment to plan for the second.
What about the federal estate tax?
Most Washington families will not owe it. The federal exclusion is $15,000,000 per person in 2026, or $30,000,000 for a married couple. Even when no federal tax is due, it is often worth filing a federal estate tax return to elect portability, which preserves your spouse's unused federal exclusion for you. That election has a deadline, so it belongs on the first-year list.
What happens to my spouse's IRA or 401(k)?
As the surviving spouse you have choices other beneficiaries do not: treat the account as your own, roll it into your own IRA, or keep it as an inherited account. The right choice depends on your age, your spouse's age and when you will need the money. Other beneficiaries, including adult children, must usually empty an inherited IRA within ten years, and since 2025 many of them must also take a withdrawal every year inside that window. These elections are hard to reverse, so we work through them before anything is moved.
Can I get Social Security survivor benefits, and when?
A surviving spouse can claim survivor benefits as early as age 60, or 50 with a disability. Claiming at 60 pays about 71.5 percent of your spouse's benefit; waiting until your full retirement age for survivors, between 66 and 67, pays 100 percent. You can take the survivor benefit first and switch to your own retirement benefit later, or the other way around, and that choice is often the most valuable decision of the first few years. Social Security also pays a one-time $255 death payment to a surviving spouse who was living with the deceased; you must apply within two years. Remarrying after 60 does not affect survivor benefits.
What is a step-up in basis, and why does Washington make it more valuable?
When someone dies, the cost basis of most assets they owned resets to the value on the date of death, so the gain built up over their lifetime is never taxed. Washington is a community property state, so for property the two of you owned as community property, both halves get the new basis, not just your spouse's half. That can make selling the house or rebalancing an investment account far less costly than people expect, but only if the records show the new values. We document them.
How soon after a death should I talk to a financial planner?
There is no right answer, and nothing on this page requires you to call this week. Some people reach out in the first month because they want someone to hold the list. Others call six months later, when the fog has lifted. Both are fine. The only things that cannot wait are deadlines, and one short call is enough for us to tell you whether any apply to you.
Do you only work with people in Seattle?
Our office is in Seattle and we meet clients in person there. We also work by video with people across Washington, and the rules on this page are Washington's rules.
When you are ready
Book an introductory call. If a call feels like too much right now, send us a note and we will reply when you are ready to talk.
This page is general information, not legal or tax advice. Thresholds and rules change; the figures here are as of October 2026. Please confirm anything that affects your situation with your attorney or tax adviser, or with us.